Reblog — Five Years.
I think a lot about you. Even more so today. I’m selfish about it, too. I think of how different my life would be now, if you hadn’t walked into it and left then. That’s disgusting to me. Why is it about me? You’re the one that felt so much pain. You’re the one that needed help. I don’t blame you. I really, truly don’t. I wish I could’ve helped you. You helped me. Where would I be now, if you hadn’t shown me the consequences?
It’s been five long, tiresome years. It’s been five quick, amazing years. It’s been a lot since you left, and I wonder where you’d be now. So often I look at milestones through your eyes. You would’ve graduated with me this past June. Or would you have? Maybe you’d have moved? Or took a gap year? I come up with scenarios, in which we would’ve shared classes, teachers, interests…We could’ve been great friends. I wish I would’ve been nicer when I’d had the time. You were a great joy to see work. Always smiling. It goes to show how much a smile can hide.
I miss you. I always will. But I want to thank you, for the last five years have held some of the best experiences for me, and I never would’ve witnessed them without your push, without your will.
I hope, wherever you are, you’re well. You deserve the world, sweet girl. May you not only be resting, but laughing, singing, smiling as you always did, in peace.
All my love to you.
February 9th, 2008.